life update ~ july 17 2005
i thought id do a small life update since ive been thinking a lot lately and making some changes to myself and my site,

lately, ive been sort-of returning to my once colorful and calm self. as you--the reader--may or may not know, before v6 my site was very colorful and 'wacky'. i always say that my site is an extension of myself, and its true. my site is connected to my mental state, how i see the world and the things around me. because of what i was personally going through mentally during the development of v6, my site is now grey and devoid of color. i thought this is what i wanted but its not. my room has also been painted with this look--my once colorful poster-plastered walls are now fairly empty and painted a deep grey thats almost black. yet sometime in june, i rewatched "all about lily chou-chou", it served as my wake-up call once again, as it did many years ago when i first watched it; and i felt my sense of self come back to me as i observed philia standing in that bright-green rice field with his cd walkman in-hand. i realized how much i missed the colors in my life. the colors in my room--in my website. i started to listen to the music i once loved, watching films with character, smiling more. now i feel the same as i did when i first created philia995. i feel all the colors that adjorn my website, i smell the salty sea air outside of my house. i started to see things as more than their shell again--my creativity returned.

so now what?

i decided to create a new index. the real version 6 i promised. one with color and passion. ive decided to return to making videos. something i spent a lot of time on before and made me feel good--i want to do things that make me feel good. please stay tuned :)

love, felix