happy friday everyone! i hope you guys like the new index for my website. its inspired by the coastal/calm life i want to live. i plan on keeping it updated monthly and working on a few other pages that have been sitting in my dashboard empty for a while. my personal favorite part about the index is the little calendar--which embarrassingly took me about 2 hours to make haha. i finally figured out how to highlight the current date :)
anywho, life has been simple and happy lately--i complete my house chores everyday, code a bit, read books, watch movies, etc. i found solace in the storm of the waiting period between adolescence and adulthood. i was once anxious about these events, yet learned to take it slow and 'go with the flow' a bit (someone very close to my heart made me realize this). i spend more time doing the little things, making sure i dont force myself to abide by my mental schedule of time-tables and insistent productivity. this week ive tried it and i feel much more calm and relaxed than before. i feel as if my depression has taken a vacation; and i hope it never comes back! working on a new index really improved my emotions, and bringing color back into my site--and life--returned the happiness i used to get from coding. i also met someone right out of my dreams--and hes made me the happiest ive ever been. i smile and laugh much more because of him, and im grateful to have found him in such a confusing time in my life. ive never felt so happy to be here before. lately ive been into house md, usually im not much of a 'doctor show' type of person; yet house md is a different kind--intriguing and
funny. i also am only one chapter away from finishing 'if cats dissapeared from the world' by genki kawamura and man, is it good. i highly recommend this book if youre feeling low in life, i wont spoil anything but this book made me view my life in a different way. it drove me to take everything in--every little social interaction, person, animal, insect, plant. i want to take my time in life and live in the present always. im tired of rushing through life trying to be better for the future, when i can enjoy the present. not everyone is gifted the privilege of waking up every morning, and i want to use it. please dont let your life fly past you, enjoy every little moment no matter how mundane. spread lots of love, recieve as much as your heart can hold and then some. life is too short to worry about every little thing. my song for this post is 'champagne coast' by blood orange.
love, felix
life update ~ july 17 2005
i thought id do a small life update since ive been thinking a lot lately and making some changes to myself and my site,
lately, ive been sort-of returning to my once colorful and calm self. as you--the reader--may or may not know, before v6 my site was very colorful and 'wacky'. i always say that my site is an extension of myself, and its true. my site is connected to my mental state, how i see the world and the things around me. because of what i was personally going through mentally during the development of v6, my site is now grey and devoid of color. i thought this is what i wanted but its not. my room has also been painted with this look--my once colorful poster-plastered walls are now fairly empty and painted a deep grey thats almost black. yet sometime in june, i rewatched "all about lily chou-chou", it served as my wake-up call once again, as it did many years ago when i first watched it; and i felt my sense of self come back to me as i observed philia standing in that bright-green rice field with his cd walkman in-hand. i realized how much i missed the colors in my life. the colors in my room--in my website. i started to listen to the music i once loved, watching films with character, smiling more. now i feel the same as i did when i first created philia995. i feel all the colors that adjorn my website, i smell the salty sea air outside of my house. i started to see things as more than their shell again--my creativity returned.
so now what?
i decided to create a new index. the real version 6 i promised. one with color and passion. ive decided to return to making videos. something i spent a lot of time on before and made me feel good--i want to do things that make me feel good. please stay tuned :)
love, felix
Monthly Favorites ~ July 2005
july was a quick month! probably my shortest list so far but there was a few things that were memorable.
to start off like my last monthly favorites, ill begin with music! hollow by stray kids came out in june and ive been listening to it ever since! i love the concepts stray kids used for this album and ive been repeating the title track 'hollow' for weeks. i enjoy the earthy, muted, and pastel colors used in the music video and concept photos. parade was another favorite of mine, it has that signature 'stray kids sound' (fun fact: they used it in a new japanese horror movie trailer!)
next up is a movie i enjoy every time i watch it; 'the notebook' by nick cassavetes is a classic for me. i recently rewatched it with my boyfriend (who had never seen it before! i was so excited to show him) and the ending still gets me even after rewatching seven times haha. ryan gosling is one of my favorite actors--he always brings so much emotion into his roles; i also loved him in 'la la land'. the story of noah and allie is a beautiful one. how they manage to find each other even when the world pulls them apart. i believe anyone who enjoys romances should watch this movie.
as for skincare, ive finally been using the anua cleansing duo enough to give a proper review on it. the oil pulls all the dirt out of your skin and the foam cleans it away! this is a must for me to use every single night without fail. it makes my skin amazingly soft and if i could only keep one skincare product it would be this duo. i highly recommend it for any skin type if youre looking to get into korean skincare but dont know where to start--or if you are unsure what your skintype is and if you have sensitive skin or not! since this product works for everyone. its formula is gentle and it only has the essential ingredients.
a game i played quite a bit in july was minecraft! ive had minecraft for over a decade now and somehow ive never gotten tired of it. theres so much to do, to build, to create. especially playing on java edition with mods, it adds fresh features to your game if you find yourself bored with it. my favorite mods are 'farmers delight', 'round trees', 'mizuno's 16craft', and 'mystic biomes'.
a fun activity i enjoyed this past month was burning cd mixtapes for my friends. i got a color printer for my birthday back in march, which comes in handy when printing the song list and cover for the cases! i love to design them specifically for each person. for example--my best friend ronnie's was a mix of her favorite songs. with an isopod as the cover. while my boyfriend thorfinn's is a mix made of songs from our shared playlist with two characters we like on the front. burning cds is simple, all you need is a burner (i use a usb/usb-c burner that plugs into my pc), blank cds, blank jewel cases, and some paper! its really fun to make if youre looking to give your friends something personal to them and make them feel special.
as i said, this month's list was a bit short but there were a few things that stuck out. hopefully ill be less busy in august but i doubt it haha. thanks for reading!
love, felix